Started: Saturday 9th August 2008 Ended: Tuesday 19th August 2008 The National Autocycle and Cyclemotor Club Lands End to John O Groats Epic Run.   Good Grief, they have actually made it! The Finishing Line The Right Reverend Frank Brzeski leads thanksgiving prayers to St. Berini, Patron Saint of underpowered motorised transport. Progress Report - (please note all the daily reports below have been translated into English from the original Gibberish using the AltaVista Babel Fish Service.) 19th August Day 11 Wick to John O'Groats Well what a finish or not a lot of finishers!!!!! This is a mystery, who was the first to finish the Lands End to John O'Groats run first. Suspicions where aroused on day 11, when over breakfast Derek, in conversation let it slip that he did not know that there was a Finish Line at John O'Groats, he therefore had not crossed it, so not finished the run? On further investigation it has come to light that there is currently available, no photographic evidence that the Hares crossed the Finish Line ether!!! Realising their mistake the flying Hudson's (Derek and Andrew) lined up at the morning start, confident they could correct this error and use their 98cc to get to the finish line before the rest of the Tortoises. The Flag dropped, they're off, Disaster, the Rain had got to Andrews points, and it would not start. Off went the Pack as the Hudson team franticly tried to nurse Andy's bike into life, a fart and a bang and yes the Hudson fired, off down the road in pursuit of the pack, can they catch up in only 17 short miles? The first rider they reeled in was Frank on a sick sounding Ducati. Down the road they roared. Disaster Andrew's Hudson took on yet more water that once again extinguished the spark The main group where unaware of the drama that was taking place, just out for a pleasant ride in the torrential rain. The Hudson's minder/ photographer Alan sped ahead to try and capture the moment on film, when the Hudson's would show the rest their exhausts, (pride before a fall??) Frank coaxed the ailing Duke watching in his mirrors the horizon, scanning it for the Flying Hudson's, every yard seemed a mile, as through the rain splattered mirror he scanned. 2 miles from the finish he decided Sh*t or Bust he opened up the throttle, the duke held together, he crossed the line , arms raised in triumph, he had beaten the Hudson's, already there was Terry 'Beardy Weirdy' Keable, Stuart Metcalf, Peter Moore , Sharon and Martin Wikner, and The Reverend Spooner. So who got there first? Photographic evidence suggests the Tortoises, unless you can prove different. Terry & Frank LATE NEW FLASH In an astounding last minute twist, The Olympic Committee have disqualified the entry of Terry 'Father Christmas' Keable following the results of a random dope test which established, along with evidence of excessive ice cream consumption, the presence of the banned performance enhancer, Sterodent. We have been unable to contact TK for his reaction to this 'bombshell' as he is in hiding, reportedly being comforted by the other random dopes.   18th August Day 10 Inverness to Wick The summit is in sight the Flying Hudsons fancied their chances, others are limping it's a long way 123 miles with a drawing pin in your shoe. The flying Hudsons reached John O'Groats by 2 ish so went on to Dunnet Head (the most northerly point on UK main land) they then went on to Thurso to book their train Tickets home, can't see why they're not riding them home! Wimps. Meanwhile Frank was at the top of a wind swept hill (a F**king big one) trying to glue his flywheel back on, hindered by Stuart, Bernard and Peter. After a committee meeting (not quorate) it was decided to put Frank on the Jawa, so he could push Brian up the hills, before Brian had to claim on his health insurance (he had enough paper work on the claim for the Puch). Terry managed to Burn off 9 huge Desserts on the Berriedale Braes But the Runabout made it; we're not sure about Terry. Sharon with her five speed gear box and 90cc engine was spotted at the top checking out the Policies she had on Martin , unfortunately he and the PC50 appeared half an hour later(better luck next time Sharon). Stuart Metcalf was boring, his Autobyk pottered on and didn't need pedalling all day,(Bas***ard. Peter had forgot his Incontinence pads so had to keep stopping for comfort breaks, the rest of the pack tried to leave him , but he had a 2 speed Puch so kept catching them up (never mind lads ). A Pissed up Peter & Frank (at least it's not Boring and Bland)   17th August Day 9 Aberdeen to Inverness We had breakfast as the smell of petrol in the dining room was reducing, thanks to Alan Eden who took the bikes outside at 5:30 am and used six cans of air freshener to make the room habitable. The A96 is a hundred and six miles long, just follow your nose ,only Frank could get lost at the first roundabout never to be seen again, that went for the rest of the riders. The A96 has got to be the most boring roads in the country, so every one did there own thing. Frank made up the mileage he spent on day one on the Jawa getting back on the right route , the flying Hudson's covered 35 miles in the first hour, never to be seen again, only stopping at the Baxters Visitors centre at the start of the Spey valley. Completely lost, Frank also stopped at the Baxters Visitors centre and had a bowl of Cullen Skink only to be told that his dad (Derek) had Just left, bu**er said Frank he must be lost too. As Frank was leaving Bernard and Christen arrived (it seems they were lost too) they where on their way, with Jill Spooner, to look up a long lost cousin. Frank in his wisdom had planned the end to end route to pass by Jill's long lost cousins door (what brilliant foresight). Jill's long lost cousin put on good spread. Peter Moore not known to miss a bean feast soon appeared also lost , with the "Gentlemen" in tow, he added to Lizzie's buffet , by donating some of the breakfast muffins he had acquired, but the fact he decanted them from a Sac Hygiene turned stomach's (but at least they were dry). By now news had filtered through that the Hudson's had reached Inverness in less than 3 hours (BRILLIANT). Franks Ducati misfired on the way into Inverness, now't that time and money won't sort out! It's now ready for the start tomorrow. Derek & Frank (your not so bland reporters)   16th August Day 8 Glenrothes to Aberdeen Frank off early again followed by Derek, Andy & Alan. The Gentlemen (and I use this term lightly) took a later start, Dundee to the Tay road bridge to rendezvous to pick up Brian's phone then across' the Tay (impressive bridge) The "B" roads round Arbroath to Montrose provided beautiful costal views in the sunshine (the first time on this run) Lunch stop in the town square Montrose, coffee it the café above the baker's shop toast and muffins in the square. Terry joined in with the Ceilidh band playing the English Concertina (invited back next year) On to Stonehaven -ice cream at the harbour. "B" roads up the hill (Terry and Brian decided to walk the hill with there Bikes. Then on to Aberdeen in the sunshine. (no problems) All bikes running well even got a sun tan. Stuarts detour took us down a closed road, in which a digger kindly raised its bucket and cleared the road to allow us through. A scooter rally in the opposite direction, loads of bikes see photos. Accommodation Tonight in the Cocked Hat Aberdeen, very good even put the bikes under cover for us. The smell of petrol in the restaurant is so overpowering we are doing our best to fart to disguise the aroma (God knows what will happen in the morning when they switch the toaster on) Andy Speak said "If they sold ale in my Garage it would smell just like this" Alan Eaden/Peter Moore   15th August Day Day 7 Carlisle to Glenrothes Frank got to a flying start not only did he lead on the road he led on corrected time. The Gentlemen riders??? Called in Hawick for coffee, excellent book/ coffee shop (Bean scene), they then had a ride on the M9 and blamed it on poor road signage around Edinburgh. Forth road bridge very busy - unable to appreciate the adjacent magnificent rail bridge. Some rain today but only light. The drivers around Edinburgh totally oblivious to bike riders, Sherwood Grimshaw (Yorkshire Section NACC) joined us today (he is camping, the fool). The Hare's joined us at the hotel in Glenrothes we took the opportunity to "borrow" some spares from their bikes ,(well they don't need them any more). Well done lads. Stewart Metcalf's 1941 Excelsior Autobike with Villiers JDL has been ultra reliable and pulls well, leading the group of four Gentlemen. Two converts to Shell V Power Terry Keable and Peter Moore -seems to give a couple of M.P.H. Jill Metcalf joined us at Carlisle and is meeting us each day at the next stop. Several riders have taken the opportunity to meet up with friends and relatives along the way. Alan Eaden/Peter Moore   14th August Day 6 Preston to Carlisle What a difference a day makes, only twenty four little hours. Rainy start today but nothing new or too bad. Martin and Sharon lead the field up to the infamous Shap but the flying Hudsons of messieurs Ashworth and Speak took the opportunity to sneak past while they took a wee break (see picture below snapped by the secret 'NACC Voyeurs Section' cam. hidden in TK's fake beard). Frank's cadged Ducati Cucciolo rear wheel has held up well (many thanks to Paul Adams Cycle Museum at Walton Hall Warrington) Team spirits pretty high, just had news that the Hare team (Jeff Wilkes, Martin Knowles, Bob Hulme, Paul Gildea and Steve backup driver Warby) have landed at Wick. They all have problems but they say they can push them the last twelve miles if need be . A Big Well done lads from the Tortoises   13th August Day 5 Tellford to Preston How can such a small thing cause so many problems, from dawn to dusk, one after the other? Until we reached Paul Adams Cycle Museum at Walton Hall Warrington, if the problems were to be solved this was the place to be. Paul having heard of Franks problems, had waiting, a selection of extra heavy duty wheels, of the right size, not only did Frank get a good strong wheel he ended up with spare ones as well (a big Thank you Paul). Whilst the major surgery was happening to the Cucciolo the rest of the riders toured the museum. Alan Eden's Bown cried enough, so that was replaced with a Honda no not a PC 50 but a Honda Dream, so now he may be able to keep up with Derek's and Andy's New Hudson's both of which are flying. Peter Moore led a splinter group around the lanes and by-ways of Cheshire and Lancashire. He said he was not lost it's just that the places they went through where not on the map. Terry Keable is still going strong despite his efforts to munch his way from Lands End to John O'Groats. At Telford we had a nice evening with Liz Butler, Bob Terry, Keith Walker, Ian Chisholm and his wife (who has kindly lent Brian Spooner his Puch Maxi) and Bob Jeffcoat, came along to give moral support. Frank & Derek   12th August Day 4 Portishead (near Bristol) to Telford The day started with a ride over the Clifton Suspension Bridge the only thing older on the run than Derek. Then the problems started! Stuart Metcalfe's Excelsior needed its forks welding, courtesy of Martin & Sharon's electricity supply, the early start plugging in the welder to his shaver socket really buggered his day up as a few moments later his suspension f***ked up on the Suspension Bridge Alan Eden's problems continue (it's worst than that) even to the tune of a replacement machine. If that's bad it's no worse than the weather, because I can tell you it p****d down all day. Episode 4 of the Frank Brzeski saga (a living nightmare ), having weighed in his broken spokes for scrap he received £1560 enough to buy a proper Ducati Cucciolo, problem, solved so you would think, but he went on the pi*s with the money, so he's back to square one .(actually pear shaped [with a wobble] ) - Question from webmaster - does this refer to Frank's wheel, Frank himself or both? Tomorrow all the riders are in for a treat! Paul Adam's has invited us to his Cycle Museum, at Walton Hall Warrington and we are looking forward to that. The boys have clubbed together and bought me a jacket for my birthday which says "I am not an exhibit" on the back and I have been advised by Paul Adams to keep moving at all times whilst in the museum. Derek (the birthday boy) Ashworth   11th August Day 3 Barnstaple to Portishead A relaxing start but the weather does not look good, all manner of improvised waterproof devices are being sported , but I do think Martin is letting the side down leaving the carrier bag handles showing above his boots. A bit of a competition has arisen :- the most original use of the hotels "SAC HYGIENE" as a waterproofing aid. Alan had to replace the engine on his Bown; Stuart has a small crack in his front forks that needs welding, Frank replaced 14 spokes, Brian guarding his leg and wind shields. Finding himself homesick and far from his native North Pole Father Christmas consoles himself by eating an iceberg. In the morning we are having a surprise Birthday party for Derek's 70th .   10th August Day 2 St Austell to Barnstaple While most riders were having a lie in Frank went out on a recce and returned with a donor bike which, when the rest finally woke, they descended on like a pack of vultures but they were too late for the wheels - Frank needs them. Back at the control centre the technical support crew are endeavouring to develop a computer model which it is hoped will be capable of producing an estimate of the M.P.W. (Miles Per Wheel) Frank's 'old rail' is achieving with a view to positioning adequate stockpiles of suitable spare wheels at strategic points along the route. On a totally unrelated subject, the Royal Mail has today announced the suspension of the postal delivery service in the St Austell area following the mysterious disappearance of their delivery bicycle during the night. Martin and Sharon seem to have a faulty fuel gauge but not a siphon tube, they have infected Brian Spooner who seems to rely on the prevailing tail wind . On Thursday 7th August Terry Keable was featured on BBC Look East on a 3 minute slot, which was good viewing and if you are quick you should be able to catch it on BBC i Player. Terry has also been involved in radio interviews and articles in his local newspaper.   9th August Day 1 We assembled at a car park in Penzance then off to Lands End had some photos taken then the start as can be seen in the photos. It did not take long for the first breakdown, Jeff Wilks managed 7 yards. A very wet day and lots of electrical problems. Frank Brzeski had to rebuild his back wheel in the only dry place he could find, his hotel room, Derek Ashworth who is sharing the room with Frank is miffed, he can't get his New Hudson in the lift A few (three) of the following pictures have captions - try pointing the mouse at them.   Full Schedule Day 1 Saturday 9th August 2008 55 miles Assemble at Penzance Station, Wharf Road, Penzance, TR18 2LT Then to Lands End (13 miles) to sign on. Mass start to first nights stop, Travel Lodge Pentewan Road St Austell, PL25 5BU Tel: 0871 984 6160 Day 2 Sunday 10th August 2008 80 miles 9 am Start from, Carnon Downs Truro to Premier Inn, Barnstapel Eastern Avenue, Whiddon Valley Barnstaple, North Devon. EX32 8RY : 08701 977 025 : Day 3 Monday 11th August 2008 93 miles 9am Start from Whiddon Valley, Barnstaple to Premier Inn Portishead Wyndham Way, Portishead, Nr Bristol,BS20 7GA 08701 977 212 Day 4 Tuesday 12th August 2008 109 miles 9am Start from Portishead to Premier Inn Telford Central, Euston Way, Telford, Shropshire, TF3 4LY: 08701 977 251 Day 5 Wednesday 13th August 2008 96 miles 9am Start Euston way Telford to Premier Inn Preston North, Garstang Road, Bilsborrow, Preston, Lancashire, PR3 0RN 0870 990 6410 Day 6 Thursday 14th August 2008 85 miles 9am Start Garstang Road Preston to Premier Inn Carlisle (M6 Jct44), Parkhouse Road, Carlisle, CA3 0HR: 0870 850 6334 Day 7 Friday 15th August 2008 130 miles 9 am Start Parkhouse Road, Carlisle to Premier Inn Glenrothes, Beaufort Drive Bankhead Roundabout, Glenrothes, Fife, KY7 4UJT: 08701 977 114 Day 8 Saturday 16th August 2008 92 miles 9 am Start Builyeon Rd, South Queensferry to Premier Inn Aberdeen Central West, North Anderson Drive, Aberdeen Aberdeenshire, AB15 6DW, 0870 990 6430 Day 9 Sunday 17th August 2008 106 miles 9:30 am Start (aren't I good giving you a lie in) North Anderson Drive, Aberdeen to Premier Inn Inverness Centre, Millburn Road, Inverness, IV2 3QX, 08701 977 141 Day 10 Monday 18th August 2008 106 miles 9 am Start Millburn Road, Inverness to The Norseman Hotel, Wick Riverside, Wick, Caithness, KW1 4NL 01955 603344 (this would be a good day for an early start, crack of dawn to get to JoG and back to Wick, 134 miles, hilly. Bit tough hence day 11) Day 11 Tuesday 19th August 2008 Wick to John O'Groats (14 miles) some may wish to continue to Dunnet Head a further 12 miles (this is the most northerly point on the UK mainland JOG is the most north westerly) the assembly point to load for the return will be ether Wick station or the Hotel   Home